If Not Now...When? By Nic Harbour

"So...you play roller derby?" She asked me, standing in line at Skate Escape, waiting to get my 5-year-old in skates.
"Yes, I skate for Granite State Roller Derby," I say, extending my hand.
We proceed to talk about fresh meat practices, and I tell her fresh meat practices are held on Tuesdays from 8-10pm weekly.
"Cool. That would give me time to get my kids ready to bed, then head out for some me time," she says.

As I skated back to join my group and get my kids laced up, I smile, thanking myself for proudly wearing my homemade GSRD shirt that afternoon to Skate Escape. Did I just potentially recruit someone? ...and a total stranger, at that? Wow, that felt good.

Anytime I get asked about derby, it's usually followed by some kind of reason for not being able to play because it would take up too much time. I understand that- I remember thinking the same thing to myself when I was considering joining over the summer. I have a family, a job, a side hobby/career already...how would I fit this in?

The answer is simple- if you find something you love and are passionate about it, you'll make time.

The weeks preceding my very first fresh meat practice, I went back and forth about it. I remember talking to a friend and hearing, "I can SO see you playing roller derby. You should do it. If not now...when?" Why was I putting this off? When was the last time I really did something for myself? It had been a while. So long that I couldn't even remember. I was happy to hear that GSRD provided gear and skates for the first few practices, to see if you really liked it. I bought a mouthguard at WalMart. I had great support from my family, and I felt ready.

Tuesday came, and it was practice that night. I got my kids showered and in their jammies before I left. I almost talked myself out of it a few times- I'm not sure why, but I did. What if I sucked? What if no one talked to me? What if...what if...what if...

I grew some courage and drove to practice. After finding the rec gym, aka "The Ward," I waited in my car until a couple others showed up. I walked into the gym lobby and was greeted by everyone sitting there, gearing up. They were nice, smiling and friendly. Another new girl, Sarah, sat beside me, and I instantly felt better knowing I wasn't alone. All of my preconceived notions about this experience ended up being wrong.

Our trainer for the evening got us geared up. Used gear has a certain...smell...but I looked past it.
"I almost talked myself out of this," Sarah said.
"Same here," I replied.

As the night went on, I fell. A lot. Even now, two months later and days away from Ground Meat assessments, I still fall. A lot. But the feeling of getting back up again and giving it my all is the best feeling in the world. My proudest moment- jumping over a hockey stick during our very first practice, and having everyone cheer and clap because I landed on my feet. I'll never forget that.

That night I left, I remember thinking, "I love this. I'm hooked."

As quoted by one of the girls on Tigar Bay Brawlers, I leave you with the following excerpt, that I couldn't have written better myself.

"It’s not about your image. f'k your image. it’s not about uniforms, glitter and fishnet tights. it’s not about the kudos of being able to say you are a ‘rollergirl’. it’s also not all about getting to bout at the expense of skimping on your minimum skills. in fact…it’s not about you at all.

It’s about being part of something bigger than yourself. it’s about ALWAYS wanting to be better than your last training session, your last bout. you should always play to win - otherwise, why bother? It’s about the blood, sweat and tears it takes to play this game, and taking pride in yourself and your team. it’s about self-discipline and always, ALWAYS giving 100% no matter what. it’s about learning how to be a cog in a much greater machine; you should always want what is best for your team and you should conduct yourself in a manner befitting of this at all times.

If you want to do this, then do whatever it takes to be the best that you can be. no excuses: just great roller derby."

If not now...when?